I know that it's hard to accept that you are no longer self-sufficient it took me a while to let go. An understanding husband is a blessing. When I started to relax and focus on myself it got easier to accept that I was lucky that I have someone to lean on. Be kind to yourself and try not to be so hard on yourself. Gentle hugs.

WOW. You ladies have said it all. This could have been me writing these post. I'm struggling with all this too. I'm thankful that I have a very supportive husband. We are both on disability and it makes it difficult to be able to go to some places we would love to see or things we would love to do. My husband has had 21 surgeries but he usually does really well with what needs to be done. We have been married 43 yrs this July and we only knew each other 3 wks before we married. God has blessed us with 4 children, 12 grandchildren, a grandson-in-law, and in a few months a great grandchild. So we still have much to be thankful for. God bless each of you. You're not alone.

This is a tough issue for me too. Wish I had some helpful advice, but I just can share my story.
I stayed home 16 yrs to raise our family of five children. Eleven of those yrs I had a successful home business. Then when all the kids were in school, I worked full time as a para (low pay) while returning to college to finish my education degree. Hubbie couldn't wait for me to work full time and bring in some good $. Well, I was injured on 1st day of student teaching (a violent student jumped me from behind) and the resulting back injury has made FM much worse too. (I've had it for most of my life.) I'm not able to work full time now and he is frustrated by that. I'm content to sub and do as much as I can, but feel the pressure every time he circles full time job ads in the paper for me to consider. He just doesn't understand why I can't. And he has net-worked for me, so people tell me about openings that I should apply for. But when I have done long-term sub jobs of 1-2 full weeks I get to the point of exhaustion. We've talked it out several times and he just keeps being hopeful I will get better. At my age (55) it's doubtful. The fibro fog and clumsiness are getting worse, even on days of reduced pain. I get through 1 day at a time and schedule days to rest (like today!)

Wow! This question really hits home with me. As many of you may recall, I am the owner of a bed and breakfast. We have been here for 20+ years. It was my dream, my passion! I love people and we have been the caretakers of a very important part of Idaho history. By now, my husband would have already retired; however, he took an earlier retirement than expected in order to operate the b and b, as I had to completely let go of any of the physical day-to-day, then eventually even the general operation. When my sister moved here 8 years ago, none of us had any idea that she would also be running the biz. The fact that I had to give up living the dream is largely responsible for the severe depression for which I am now receiving twice-weekly therapy. I no longer want to die, thanks to therapy, a loving and supportive husband, an outstanding twin sister and the grace of God!!! In addition to feeling loss and grief I have been consumed with guilt. I have felt, and still struggle with this feeling, that my husband and sister, because the biz was not their dream as it was mine, are resentful that they are stuck with this burden, and the burden of caring for me. We have definitely had to make financial adjustments. We live a much more modest life than when my husband was working, making a really great income, and I was running the biz, which provides us with home and all the costs of living it incurs. Still, I don't have the desire to be out and about, to socialize or network with the community like I used to. I have become reclusive, as you all will understand, due to pain, fatigue, mood, etc. I praise the Lord that our mortgage is paid off and the biz pays for itself with utilities, etc. Between Social Security and my husband's pension, as well as being personally debt-free, we do alright. We are going to sell the biz and move closer to our kids and grandkids. It is bittersweet. I say, "Some people never dream, but I lived mine." I am so truly amazed and in sincere admiration of any fibro warriors who continue to work and/or go to school, raise youngsters (I am a Grammy, so the child-rearing is over and the best is yet to come watching these awesome gifts grow), and try to maintain the old normal. I am struggling, still after all these years, with finding my new normal. God is working in me and on me. I am beginning to understand that He has a purpose for my future, despite or because of my challenges. You are not alone!!! Gentle hugs and prayers for answers to your question that you will find peace and purpose!

@A MyFibroTeam Member it's not always about getting your finances under control because no one can predict when, where, nor how your life would look like in the next yr. heck not even in the next few minutes unless you're God. 6 yrs ago we were doing great and then one day... BAM! The life that I once had is no more. I could not have predicted that I would have to see a therapist 3x a mth or I would have to go see this specialst and that specialist. I had a nice nest egg, I dabbled in stocks and did fairly well too. But now 2 yrs later I have no income of my own but I still have student loans, and private school, and any other thing that I may have to do. I was never the 1 who lived above my means but if I saw a nice purse when I was working, and I had some extra money, I would get it. I lived in my scrubs so buying clothes was useless. Now, I have a strict budget when I go grocery shopping I have a list and sometimes coupons.
Me and my husband have a great relationship as well and he is supportive too, he does not understand but he is here for me. I am grateful to God for him as well as my son. I'm glad that I never have to worry about my husband leaving me over not being able to work because he goes to the doctor w/me and he hears what the doctor says.

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