Is Your Love Life Affected Because Of Fibromyalgia?
UPDATE: Thank you all for your love and support. I wanted to update you guys on how my love life is doing. Shortly after posting this I met a wonderful person. We are still together and still growing strong. I truly believe there's someone for everyone. It is possible to have a love life even with fibromyalgia. The hard part is it takes longer for some of us to find the right one. I hope all of you stay strong. Thank you all for your support.
Ever since my diagnosis I've pretty much been… read more
I can relate to every one of the comments here.
It is comforting to have a safe place to come and just be. Be ourselves. Be a little vulnerable.
I have had extremely bad fibro systems this entire year. More than ever before. I cannot walk from the pain in my hips and the crease where your leg connects, the back of my legs, my arms, shoulders, lower back..it just goes on and on.
I'm not sure if I know what's worse between and physical pain and the mental pain. I have allowed it to emotionally tear me apart. My husband does not understand and doesn't want to. I had to stop working and am in the process of filing for SS benefits. I feel so much of a lesser person from having this. It has caused a big problem in my marriage. Thank goodness my daughter and her 5 yr old son lives with us. He keeps my husband busy and sleeps with us. And you know, my instant initial reaction when he touches me is to involuntarily pull back. I don't even feel comfortable with him in my space. I would say this has transpired from the disrespect I get from him as well as his constant passive aggressive remarks. He has belittled me for years. Then he expects me to want him in my space!?
Well, I have rambled this on to an entire other story. Sorry about that. I guess I needed to get that out. It's so frustrating!
I appreciate everyone here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
I started drawing/sketching again. It's been therapeutic.
My husband and I have been together for 15 years. I was diagnosed about 6 years into the marriage; it hasn’t been easy but doable. He helps and knows when I push myself too hard that I need to rest. He is very supportive, most days 😉. Don’t give up! There are some really great and understanding guys out there.
I'm 57, been married 4 times and have 5 grown children. I was diagnosed with Fibro in 2009 and I was in denial for 6 years.
I've been married to my soul mate for the last 18 years. We always had a very healthy sex life, maybe more than healthy as I'm 11 years older than he is and when we met he was only 28. I loved the intimacy of making love and I was very happy with our sex life and I know he was as well. Now, I have no desire. Not because I don't want to make love but because it hurts so much, during and after. The guilt is so strong that I will lay there and cry after he falls asleep. I feel that it's not fair to him. I am blessed that he is very supportive but that only makes the guilt that much worse. I feel he deserves better. I'm also the type of person who believes that if you don't keep your partner satisfied they will get it elsewhere. I know he hasn't and I know in my heart he probably never will but my brain is always fighting itself when it comes to this. My body is almost always in constant pain but I don't care I would still make love if I didn't feel like I was being ripped apart and no ladies it's not because of size lol (I know this may be too personal, but if it helps someone understand then it's worth noting it).
Sometimes, I feel that it may be phycological because it really got bad after I was diagnosed with Lupus as well in 2015 (that's when I accepted the Fibro and started denying the Lupus, I know I sound crazy, but that's where my head went). After all this, I was diagnosed with Small Fiber Neuropathy in 2016. I don't know where all this will lead me but everyday is a challenge.
Just because you have a medical condition doesn't mean you can't find love. When I met my husband I was always in pain, my headaches, my back pain, my depression/anxiety, stomach aches, etc. He was young and could have just moved on but he fell in love with me and has been by my side this whole time. Try to get out and try to do what you can on your good days. Don't stay locked away because it will drive you crazy.
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE WE ALL NEED SOMEONE TO HOLD AND SOMEONE TO LOVE AND SOMEONE WHO LOVES US. IT'S HARD TO DEAL WITH OUR MEDICAL ISSUES BUT WE NEED SOMEONE THERE FOR US. I COULDN'T GET THROUGH EACH DAY IF I DIDN'T KNOW MY HUSBAND WOULD BE HOME THAT AFTERNOON TO TAKE MY MIND OFF THE PAIN.
Good luck and don't give up hope. Hugs to all of you.
Don't lose hope that the right person will come along when you least expect it. Here's my experience, I have a partner, we've been together for 5 years. My fibro has been bad for about the last 3.5. We used to be out and about enjoying ourselves, hiking, taking long drives and doing all the things we loved. Now we rarely get out. I just don't have the energy. Intimacy is rare. While he tries to be understanding, patient and helpful, I can see it is wearing on him too. Sometimes I just wish he would leave me, even though I really don't want him to but I feel like it would be something less to worry about and stress over and feel guilty about. I don't want to be alone but I don't want to be a burden either. Fibromyalgia makes it hard to be in a relationship. But I know not having some to share life with would be hard also.
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