@A MyFibroTeam Member

How nice of you to say that. I, like many others, have asked God why? Why am I the one who has this painful, incurable illness? Why am I the one with major depressive disorder? Why am I the one that was sexually assaulted so many times? Why am I the one who has had to take care of my sister’s children, help them pay for their educations, and support them as they navigate the waters of this crazy world we live in? Why me? I made a conscious decision a few years ago, when my lifelong emotional scares got out of control, that I would make one of the answers to those questions be “to help others navigate through this thing called life”. If I can help just one person feel less alone, or like someone cares, or like there is hope after all I will have succeed at life. If I can help just one person fight back instead of giving in my life has a purpose. As a result, this normally very private person has gradually learned to be very open. I am not ashamed of the things that happened...disappointed or angry yes but not ashamed. I talk openly about how major depressive disorder has affected my life and how I’ve been able to come to terms with it. I talk openly about close brushes with suicide and what worked to get me back to a better place mentally. I talk a little less openly about the impact sexual assault had on every aspect of my life (that one is harder because I’m still working on some of the emotions and reactions around it). I talk openly about the changes I’m having to make as fibromyalgia makes itself more and more obvious in me. I’m not perfect. I still get angry and upset. I still get frustrated. I still feel hopeless sometimes. I feel all the negative emotions everyone else does but if I can help just one person, I will have a reason for all I’ve gone through. Perhaps people on this site are that reason. It is my deepest hope that others don’t have to suffer as I have but, if they have, I want to use my God-given caregiver heart to help them through.

May God bless and keep you.

Shirley

Mentioned Users

A MyFibro...

@A MyFibroTeam Member

Mentioned Users

A MyFibro...

@A MyFibroTeam Member

“Not today Satan”....I love that! So much of our personal suffering is Satan trying to keep us from God. God has a plan for our lives even when we don’t know what it is! Satan tries to keep us from that plan.

I am glad your daughter has decided to try to stop drinking at home rather than travelling to Florida right now. It must put your heart at ease with the public heath situation right now. She is made of strong stuff and I’ll be praying that she is successful. It will be a rough road for you both I’m sure. I’m sorry the stress is causing you to flare (I’m right there with you right now) but I also know that, if anything you go through helps your daughter, you would do it all over again. God will bless you abundantly! I’m reminded of a Sunday school song we sing often with the children...

Count your blessings,
Name them one by one,
Count your many blessings
See what God has done!

Even in the midst of pain and stiffness and fatigue you are, I’m sure, thanking God that your daughter is with you and is seeking to change her behaviour. That is blessing number one for your list!

I’m glad I can be a small part of the support system that gets you through the day. When we can talk about our experiences and our emotions without judgement or negativity we can all get through life a little more easily.

May God bless you with a restful night and less pain tomorrow.

Shirley

Mentioned Users

A MyFibro...

@A MyFibroTeam Member

I will be praying for your daughter. Addiction grabs hold and doesn’t let go easily but God is able. It is an excellent first step that she sees it for what it is and wants to seek help. The niece I raised was starting down that path with inhalant usage. She is 22 and lives with me still. She refused to even admit that she was using. One night, while high, when I lost my cool with her over it she got violent and tried to push my mom (her gramma) down the stairs to prevent us from going in her room and seeing the evidence of what she was doing. She would have succeeded had I not stepped in, braced myself well, and protected mom. I got some good bruises (some physical, some emotional) from that encounter. Since she refused to admit a problem, and on the advice of my therapist, I went to our Addictions Treatment Center for help coping with her behaviour. Through the support of my councillor there I learned how to set boundaries with her (long story but protecting her from her dad growing up meant I’d gotten in the habit of just giving her whatever she wanted so she wouldn’t choose to live with him), and through lots of tough love did get her to stop the behaviour even though I still don’t think she understands why she needed to stop. She has been clean 8 months now. I thank God that He answered prayer and for early intervention with her. All this to say that God’s love is boundless and He will be with you through this difficult time. Through His grace you were able to get your daughter help with her opioid addiction and she has not fallen back into that. Through His grace she sees her need of help with her alcohol addiction. God has delivered her once and He will do it again. I will be praying that she gets the help she needs to break the cycle of addiction, that you will have peace of mind as she seeks that help during a time when you would rather hold her close to home to keep her safe from the pandemic, and that this situation won’t add more strain to your already strained marriage. May God, the Great Physician, bless and keep you. May you feel His presence like never before as He wraps you in his comforting arms and guides you through this difficult situation. God bless you dear friend. Hold tight to hand and let him carry you when you can’t walk yourself.

Hugs and prayers
Shirley.

Mentioned Users

A MyFibro...

I’m on Cymbalta, nobody messes with me until I get my coffee. Sorry, I’m not going to change my diet if doesn’t help. Yes, I did change my diet and nothing worked or helped. I just got worse with my FM and was seeing the doc about every 2 or 3 weeks, because of the pain, electric shocks, spots on my arms and legs felt like of drops of water hitting them (Lyric) helped with that symptom, and very hot wet towels around my legs. That gives some relief. Anyway, what I found out from the medical system is not much can be done and this is your new reality. My life will never be the same and it’s done.I can hardly walk without pain so I have a walker and wheelchair to get around. I found going aquatic exercise for FM, I mediate, I listen to music, I going outside and watch the people go by, and I’m not one to feel sorry for myself either. This is my new life and with the help of family and friends and my doc too.